As I have walked through the street corners of New York City, the numerous amount of homeless people living on the sidewalks have caught my eye. The goal of the president is to get these people off the streets and into homes. But have you ever looked at a homeless person and saw the face of someone who can be successful like the president? A president and a homeless person have more in common then we know. A president may be famous and have a luxurious home, and fulfilling duties but he also has personal issues and needs support as he is judged by people who watch him, just like a homeless person.
When one looks at a president they think his only concern should be to help the nation get through hard times. Barely will one look at a president for his personal issue unless it is blown up by the media… like Bill Clinton. But saving the nation isn’t a president’s only duty but he also has personal concerns like family matter. Homeless people also have personal issues whether it is trying to support a family or trying to get back on their feet. But we never look beyond the issues that these two types of people may be facing; instead we only see what is on the outside.
Hearing the term “president” for so long we begin to put a few words to the term, such as responsibility and leader. Hearing the term “homeless” on the other hand, the words poverty and poor will automatically “pop” into my head. When words automatically “pop” into anyone's head this is sometimes called judging. A president will always be viewed as this “family man” and “a graduate student of the best school”, and when a candidate comes along that has neither of these characteristics they are sometimes judged for it. Homeless people are also judged but mostly in negative ways where they are looked at as dirty and poor people. But they are people just like us the only thing different is that they don’t have a home.
Presidents will always need support whether it is from family or other political figures. They need support when media brings them down and they also need support behind new ideas. Homeless people need support in a different way than presidents. A homeless person needs support to pick their life up and get off the streets. Without any motivation or support from anyone it is very hard to get back on the right track.
With all the similarities a president and homeless person may have they also have differences. A president has a big white house to live in along with a bed and a bathroom, therefore we may say he is wealthy. Meanwhile a homeless person would be lucky to even have a place to go to the bathroom. A president is responsible to help a whole nation through a hard time meanwhile a poor persons motive should be to help himself get through a hard time. A president is famous world-wide as he sits down with presidents all over the country while a homeless person will get lucky if the same person passed him twice and even recognized him.
Although a president may dress classy meanwhile a homeless man barely dresses, they will always have similarities but what one must do is look beyond what we see visually. To determine the similarities a homeless man and a president may have, one must ignore the terms that will come to mind when hearing both words. Instead, we must view what similarities both may have on the inside.
1. The introduction was really good. It gave the reader a lot of information.
ReplyDelete2. Yes
3. yes
4. three paragraphs explaining 3 contratsing elements and one paragraph on the comparing elements
5. Yes and no. I felt that there should be more than one paragraph for the comparing elements.
6. Yes
7. The intro was good but i felt as though the conclusion was also trying to finish up the second to last paragraph.
8. No
9. No
11. missing commas
12. explain the comparing elements in detail within more paragraphs.
1. The fact that you give hope to the homeless in the essay. You say that even though we don't think about it much, they are similar.
ReplyDelete2. Yes.
3. Yes, for similarities it is. However, you don't map out the differences in your thesis as clearly.
4. INTRO- similarity A- similarity B- similarity C- difference A- difference B- difference C- CONCLUSION
5. Yes. It keeps your statements clear.
6. Yes, you made up a lot of good reasons.
7. The introduction gives a tone of hope in your essay, and the conclusion verifies the similarities but not all of the differences.
8. Nope!
9. No.
11. In Paragraph 2 "...Bill Clinton" I would just change the ... to a dash (--).
12. Great job! I thought you chose a challenging topic.
1. I like the topic that you chose for the comparison because most people usually cannot find similarities between the president and a homeless person.
ReplyDelete2. It is clear what is being compared from the introduction.
3. The introduction makes it clear why they are being compared.
5. I believe that this structure is the most effective way to go about this type of assignment.
6. The author does use the four body paragraphs to prove her thesis, and there is more than enough evidence to prove her point.
7. The introduction does what it needs to do by stating what the essay is about. Also, the conclusion is nicely written since it summarizes the essay and ties it back to the original thesis.
8. Although it was not confusing, it could have been improved with a few more transition words.
9. I was not lost at any point during this reading.
1. I like how the author compares two extremely different "images" that aren't easy to compare, and how she does it with ease.
ReplyDelete2. It is extremely clear and very well put exactly what's being compared z
3. Yes it's very clear why this is being compared.
4. Intro/Similiarity/Similiarity/Similiarity/Difference/Difference+Conclusion
5. I find the organization somewhat effective, although she does need to provide more differences and needs to separate the conclusion
More
6. N/A
7. The introduction was very well written. The conclusion on the other hand was very poorly written, and a good part of it was a continuation of the previous paragraph rather then a sum of all tnings
8. The conclusion should've summed things up better, and have less of a continuation flow from the previous paragraph.
9. There were no points that made me deep as if information is missing
10. N/A
11. She does not know how to use ellipses.
12. In the future the conclusion should sum up the overall paper, and shouldn't be a continuation of the previous paragraph. It should be self standing and a summary of the whole essay, within a few lines.
1. I like that a question was asked to get the reader more involved with the essay.
ReplyDelete2. Yes - Homeless Person & President
3."A president may be famous and have a luxurious home, and fulfilling duties but he also has personal issues and needs support as he is judged by people who watch him, just like a homeless person."
4. Intro, similarities, differences, conclusion
5.Yes
6.Yes all of the topics talked about in the thesis are presented in the body paragraphs with examples.
7.Yes the introduction and conclusion both relate to each other by reviewing the specific topics talked about in the essay.
8&9-no
11.Avoid starting a sentence with "but" and i think the ellipse was unnecessary.
1. I liked the examples that you came up with to compare the president to a homeless person.
ReplyDelete2. It is clear what is being compared: president and a homeless person
3. Yes, it is clear why they are being compared. Thesis: A president may be famous and have a luxurious home, and fulfilling duties but he also has personal issues and needs support as he is judged by people who watch him, just like a homeless person.
4. Introduction, similarities, differences, conclusion
5. Yes, the organization is effective
6. Yes, sufficient evidence is included
7. Yes, the introduction and conclusion are effective. The conclusion sums up the essay very well
8. No
9. No
11. there were few grammatical errors
1. I like your second comparison.
ReplyDelete2. Yes.
3. Yes.
4. It started with an introduction, followed by 2 similarities and 2 differences, and ended with a conclusion.
5. Yes, it's very effective and clear.
6. The author proved the president and homeless people are similar using two points.
7. Yes. The introduction tells the reader what he will discuss in the following body paragraphs, and the conclusion reinforces the thesis.
8.No
9. No.
11. Many sentences start with "But...."
12. This paper was well written.
1: The thing I liked most was the topic because I would never stopped to actually compare a homeless man to the president. The topic was unique.
ReplyDelete2: The thing being compared is clear because of the thesis and it was introduced nicely in the beginning of the essay.
3: It says in the introduction that they are being comparing because most people would not actually think to do it.
4: its the Type 1 essay that we talked about yesterday in class.
5: It was effective because it was clear and helped us follow the writer's train of thought.
6: The writer efficiently uses the body of her essay to back up her thesis.
7: The introduction nicely defines the two things that the writer is comparing and states why her essay is important. The conclusion restates the thesis and ends the essay nicely, however, it would've benefited if she used some more points from her essay (like the contrasts).
8. No, I don't think so. The transitions were smooth. I followed the points clearly.
9: Nope.
11: Didn't notice any!
12: The essay was unique, and led me as the reader to keep thinking about homeless people and the president. It then led me to start thinking about society and class, which was good because the essay did its job.
1. I like your second comparison where you gave specific example.
ReplyDelete2.It is cleared what is compared between president and homeless people.
3.Yes
4. Introduction, similarities, differences, conclusion
5.Yes it is very effective and clear
6.The writer greatly uses the body of her essay to back up her thesis.
7. The introduction was very well written.Other than introduction, conclusion was not well written. what I like the most is transition of your thoughts.
8.No, I don't think so. The transitions were good enough.
9. No
11.No
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ReplyDelete